When thieves go for gold… literally! The theft of a gold toilet is a new one, even for me!

A solid gold toilet vanishes from Blenheim Palace. A thief crashes through a Sainsbury’s ceiling, pockets a stack of scratch cards, and strolls out the fire exit. A Dartmoor farmer loses 500 sheep a year to rustlers. You have to wonder, is there anything people won’t steal these days? I’ve seen some audacious thefts over the years, but even I did a double take at the latest incidents to hit the headlines.

Let’s start with the golden loo. If you’ve been keeping up with the news, you’ll know that two men are currently on trial for making off with a solid gold toilet worth £4.8Million. You’d think that absconding with a 103kg, fully plumbed fixture would be a logistical nightmare. Apparently not. CCTV footage shows what looks like a security officer trailing behind the thieves, but it’s too late. By the time they react, the golden throne has already been flushed from existence (see what I did there!?!)

Now, what exactly does one do with a stolen gold toilet? Melt it down? Display it as a bizarre trophy? Sell it on the black market to a particularly eccentric collector? Either way, it isn’t exactly your bog-standard theft (sorry!). I also see that a man has been jailed for dropping in through the ceiling of a supermarket, Mission Impossible-style. Having channelled his inner Tom Cruise, he proceeded to grab £200 worth of groceries and scratch cards before waltzing out.

Clearly, long-term thinking wasn’t the thief’s strong suit as scratch cards need to be activated at the till to be worth anything. But hey, who am I to question his logic!?! Then there’s the sheep farmer. Over the last few years, the poor chap has lost nearly half a million pounds worth of livestock. That’s 500 sheep a year, with many ending up in the illegal meat trade. He’s now resorted to GPS-tagging each one at £200 per animal, plus a subscription fee. Hardly cost-effective, but when you’re bleeding that much money, you take whatever solutions you can get.

The bigger issue? This isn’t just about stolen sheep. It’s about how theft at any level, whether food or gold, impacts the entire retail ecosystem. That £120 stolen sheep still needs to be fed, slaughtered, transported, and (illegally) sold. The more incidents of theft increase, the higher food prices climb, pushing more people to shoplift everyday essentials. It’s a vicious cycle. But bizarre thefts aren’t the only thing on my radar this week…

As Ramadan begins, many of our security officers are working whilst fasting. That’s long shifts with no food or water for hours, all while staying focused and on high alert. Huge respect to them for their dedication – it doesn’t go unnoticed. And finally, as we gear up for Retail Risk – London, I’m pleased to confirm that we’re bringing back a very special guest… yes, Esme will indeed be joining us on the Advantage One stand!

She was the undeniable star of the show at Leicester last year, receiving more belly rubs and treats than some of us get LinkedIn endorsements! Only this week, someone asked me “Are you the company with the dog?” Closely followed by, “How’s Esme?” I think it’s safe to say we know who the real celebrity at Advantage One is… and it’s certainly not me!

So, if you’re heading to Retail Risk – London, do stop by our stand and paws for a chat (OK, I’ll stop now!). I’d love to discuss how we can help you to reduce incidents of shoplifting in-store (or even safeguard your gold toilet, if that’s what you’re into).

Oh, and if you’re wondering where to find me, I’ll be the chap in the cap holding the treat bag!